Introduction, Mental Health, Mind

Knowing where to start

To know where to start, you have to understand where you are.

I don’t like acknowledging where I am because that means acknowledging that I’m not happy with myself and how I am. But then that is the reason I have started #myproject35 – I want to change, so I need to kind of get over it. And this is the point of this post.

If you don’t know where you’ve come from, it’s difficult to determine where you are. It’s even more difficult to plan where you’re going.

For me, the hardest thing about acknowledging where I am is being honest and aware of all the weight I have put on in the last few years. I think that is what bothers me most. In a way it’s funny how it suddenly happens. It is a slow process, creeping on, pound by tiny pound. You think you’re getting away with it, and it’s not that much, and you can’t really tell. But then you suddenly, in that one moment see it.

I have to be honest with myself in that it has happened, but also thankful as that is what has prompted the creation of project 35 as a whole. Project 35 is not just about weight, it’s about all the different elements of ‘me’ – but the way I feel about it has given me the push to make these changes everywhere.

Why did I get to where I am? Why didn’t I do something sooner? I’m sure we all think this a lot. I don’t want to make excuses, but I need to take on board I have had things going on that required my focus – my mum was terminally ill whilst I got a new job and moved halfway across the world, and she has since passed away. And it sucks. And I didn’t deal with it very well. But I now know I need to start focussing on me and become my best me. Not just for her, but for me.

So here I am. about 2 weeks until #myproject35 officially starts. And I need to be honest about where I am right now.

I am 33 years old, over 200lbs (eek) and rather unfit. I can just about do a plank for 1 minute, not quite 10 press ups on my toes and about 5 burpees before I want to die. I don’t regularly do yoga or meditate or take as many pictures as I’d like. I can’t properly speak another language (ordering food and drinks doesn’t count) and I have not written a novel.

But that can change. And it will. Roll on #myproject35

 

Photo credit – me. Yes it’s not a very good plank (it’s hard on sand and I’m not very good at it…yet) and I am rather solid, but the view is pretty don’t you think?

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